A Different State

I went to a wedding in NJ this past weekend. Getting married was a friend of mine who I've known almost the entire time I've lived in America. She was one of those people that you never envisioned settling down. A real party girl.

But there we were, me and my old NJ crew of friends, at her wedding. I don't hang around much with them anymore, and it was a lot like old times, but in formal dress. We wondered aloud: if we were all there, who was at the local pub where we used to hang out?

I don't have friends in the city like I did when I lived in Montclair, the New Jersey town I where used to live. It was a community, a tight group, and a smaller neighbourhood. Unlike Manhattan, where the choices seem limitless, we only had a few options for our nights out. You always knew where to find someone, and you were always bumping into people you knew. To some extent the smaller neighbourhood exists in other areas, like Brooklyn, Hoboken, and Queens, but their proximity and subway access to Manhattan make them different. I walked to local bars in Montclair. I had a local coffee shop, and knew the best places for pizza or Mexican food. In the City, there are so many different places, and it's all so hit-and-miss. And so, when friends get together in NYC, it's usually a pretty organised Let's get together event, as opposed to a I'm around the corner, why don't you come by event. That's what I miss about Montclair and my friends there the most. That's not to say it never happens here, just not as much. It surprises me after watching Seinfeld and other TV shows that portray NYC neighbourhoods as very tightly knit. Only a few of them are, really.

Then again, maybe I'm just older and reminiscing about something in my life more related to my age than geography. After all, the friend who got married this past weekend wasn't the first of our little clique. A handful of others had already made that leap. Some of them are already parents, who don't go out much anymore. Things change, and people move on.