More boring talk about work...

Things have lightened up somewhat. But just barely.

It's Saturday and I'm at the office working again. I've moved on from the big (Brooklyn) project that I was working on, which I got out the door on Wednesday to a small Staten Island design that technically was supposed to go out yesterday. Realistically, it only needs to be sitting in our sub-consultant's inbox when she come in Monday morning. Tomorrow, I'll still be back at the office, but it'll be a whole lot of personal junk that I need to get done and have entirely neglected during the past few weeks.

I've been so out of it lately. I was planning to get out and cheer on our Flyers chicks in the Mini... tomorrow, until I looked at NYRR's site today and saw the results up. Sheesh!

I did manage to get a 4-mile run in on Thursday, and I plan to do the same tomorrow morning. I've also been doing my PT exercises for a change, and getting enough sleep. I even managed to go out on Thursday and Friday nights. Thursday I went to another event at the Boat Basin and Friday I went to the roof garden on the Met for the first time. It's nice up there, but of course, pricey to drink.

Anyway, tonight I'll work late on Staten Island, and take it as far as I can before sending it off. What I'm working on isn't inherently difficult, but I'm finding it extremely so, if only because I haven't had a day off in over a month. It's just so hard to keep focused.

I am not coming in next weekend. No sirree!

Everybody's workin' for the weeked...

To quote a fine Canadian band. Okay, perhaps calling Loverboy "fine" is a bit of a stretch.

Anyway, it's not so. It's just me, apparently. I have two deadlines next week, and one of the projects has really backed up on me. I was in the office from 9 A.M. until midnight Friday night, and it's looking like today, Saturday, will amount to much of the same thing. Tomorrow's plan includes a lot of work, but I do intend to step out to see a friend at some point for a beer, pending my progress up till then. Monday, Memorial Day, will be another 15-hour day. If you're a Flyer, don't hold your breath at the start of the month for the newsletter. It would take a miracle at this point. Even my cat hates me right now.

All that said, I figured I deserve a blog break.

My back is much better, but not great. It only hurts on the odd occasion now. I had a second appointment with the PT this past week, and he gave me some more exercises to do, but I've been too busy to do them for the most part. I haven't run at all in nearly three weeks, and as of tomorrow, I'll have only put in 9 miles in the four weeks since the marathon. I keep planning to start but time is at a premium right now. Maybe tomorrow...

I'm not especially stressed over any of this. I've just kind of numbed myself to it all, as every time I foresee the workload lightening up, someone pulls the rug out from under me. What's the use in hoping anymore?

But I do hope everyone's spring is going well. I hear the weather has been beautiful lately. Anyway, time to get back to my numbness...

Denial

I signed up for bag-watch duty at speedwork the other day. While I was sitting there in the school cafeteria, watching the runners file in and get ready, I was chatting with Flygirl, saying that my back was giving me some problems lately and I needed to get it checked out. "Yeah", she replied, "it seems like a lot of people lately are getting injured and going on the DL."

"Well, I'm not really injured. I've just been having some discomfort that I want to get checked out in case it becomes worse."

Duhh...

Truth be told, I've only run twice since my marathon. On Sunday (my last post) my left hip was still giving me grief, and oh, well, did I forget to mention that my right hip had already started to hurt, too? Well, the next Monday morning, I woke up with this discomfort in my lower back, some minor pain, as if I'd just slept the wrong way. I figured that if I gave it a day or two, it would go away. I ran again last Tuesday. Both hips were giving me trouble, and my back still hurt. I figured I'd take a few more days off. I stretched and iced (my hips) over the next few days, but my back was giving me more and more pain ("just some discomfort", my ass!). In fact at one point earlier this week, I reached over to grab something, and the pain that shot through my lower spine was tremendous, and I almost buckled over! My IT bands felt like iron rods, my hips like a pair of rusted ball-in-sockets, and now even my glutes were feeling stressed. I must have really wrenched my back or something, because this couldn't be from running... could it?

I finally went to see the Good Doctor in nearby Chelsea on Wednesday. Same old orthopedic tests, but this time they went more like this:
"Does this hurt?"
"Ow! Yes!"
"This?"
"YOW! Yeah!"
"How about This?"
"Owww!! Stop that!!"
"Not good. You're lucky you came in. Your knees would've been next."

No I'm not kidding. He made it sound like I had cancer or some incurable disease eating away at my joints. What the hell was wrong with me?

Well, apparently I missed National Ab Month, that's what. According to both the Good Doctor, and (yes, yet another) physiotherapist that I saw today, I have virtually no core strength, and my lower back and upper legs are compensating for weakness in (mostly) my abdominals. My hamstrings are fiddle-string tight. It's the stupidest thing.

And it's stupid because I really can't wrap my mind around it at all. I mean, I can understand how strengthening your core can make you a stronger runner, and how not doing core exercises could make someone a less efficient runner, and therefore more vulnerable to getting an injury. But this doesn't seem logical at all to me: How can running and not doing core training lead someone to a downward spiral of a progressively weakening core, giving that person back and leg problems, when they aren't even running anymore???

There's nothing on this stuff in Wikipedia, so I guess I have to believe what they say.

My PT asked, "Do you do any ab-work?"
"No", I replied.
"Well, you're gonna start."

He gave me my exercises to do this week. They're very complicated. He said, when I'm sitting around working at my computer, to tighten up my abs once in a while. When I'm standing on the street waiting for the light to change, tighten up my abs. And when I get up in the morning, for a few minutes before I get out of bed, tighten up my abs. You get the picture. In his words:"First we need to get those things firing again. Next week we'll get into the fun stuff." Oh joy.

"And can I run?" I asked him. He told me to hold off for another week. So much for my 10K PR this weekend. Oh well.

But I still plan to pick up that Healthy Kidney Race shirt tomorrow. They always give away good tech shirts for that event, and besides, my kidneys are apparently the only things that are healthy these days anyway.

Back in physical therapy.

Or physiotherapy. Whatever.

Anyway, it's not what you would think... but it's almost what you think. Well, sort of. It's kind of complicated. I went to the sports doc on Friday for something I'd been concerned about for a while, so we'll start with that.

My thumb hurts.

Yep, that's it. My inner knuckle on my right thumb aches when I move it in a certain direction, or put pressure on the outside of my thumb. Oh, and because I've gotten criticised for not having enough photos on my blog, I've included a picture of said thumb.
And can you tell I used to be a photographer? Such artistry! Such expression! Can't you just feel the pain?!?

Actually, it's not much pain at all; annoying at most, and it's not like it's debilitating in any sort of way, like it's keeping me from hitch-hiking across the country or anything.

But the problem is that it's been hurting for over three months! What a pain (really)! Anyway, so I figured it was time to get it checked out, and I called up the Good Doctor, and went in to see him. In the end, he told me what it was (but really I can't remember. It was like some kind of little pellet-type-of-thing in the joint that was injured. He figured that it would take quite some time before it healed completely, but that a couple of physical therapy sessions could encourage blood flow and speed the healing up a bit. Sounded a bit hokey, but insurance covers it, and his office is a two minute walk from the office on Union Square, so I was game. I made an appointment for lunchtime today.

Then yesterday, all hell broke loose. Or so I thought, anyway, which is all that matters.

My best 5K performance is a 20:10, or a 6:30 pace, which I managed to do at a race at the beginning of last May. At yesterday's race, I had no intention of trying to beat that. I meant to take it easy... I just wanted to get in those 3.1 extra miles to hit 50 miles for the week, which I did. However, I still ran a 7:26 pace or something, which is about 15 seconds faster than I wanted to. Being one of the four or whatever guys in our club who actually ran the race, I also managed to score for the team. Being in a race with thousands of runs always makes you want to run faster, though, and I should've expected this. I also should've done some kind of warm-up. And like every other race, nobody stretches afterwards, so neither did I. Needless to say, I pushed myself a bit hard running a race the day after my first 20-miler.

After a bit of runner socializing, I went home, did some work at the computer, and wrote yesterday's blog entry, which, as you recall, was focussed on whether or not I could qualify for Boston. And then I got up.

The pain that I suddenly discovered in my hip was enough to make me walk with a limp. It wasn't the sharp, shooting pain that had made me almost fall while running in Central Park last August, but it was pain, no less. It was a pain a little higher in the hip than the pain I had experienced throughout last spring and summer, but it was still in the hip, and it was the same hip.

Suddenly my perception of the world, my running world, changed instantly. Obviously, the bursitis was back. I had pushed myself too hard this weekend, and the injury flared up again. This was going to be chronic. My marathon days were over. Could I spend the rest of my running days maxing out my training runs at 10 miles, and doing 5 and 10Ks for the rest of my life? Would those distances satisfy me? What if it wasn't even the distance, but the effort? Maybe racing was not in the cards for me anymore at all! Was I sentenced to the life of forever being a casual jogger? Should I start swimming?

And I just bought that stupid $200 NYRR benefactor membership! Plus I have ten more newsletters to put out for the Flyers, and I don't even know if I can race with them anymore!

But lucky for me, I had scheduled that PT appointment. I can ask about it on Monday while they're giving my thumb a good workout. That'll do it. Maybe I could treat this thing and nip it in the bud.

I was still understandably distressed, but I tried to cling to a thread of hope. So I stretched, I took some NSAIDs, and I iced the hip.

By the time I got to work this morning, it was still hurting, but not as bad. And you know what? It really wasn't hurting in the same spot as it did before, so I got hopeful. I called the Good Doctor, explained my new circumstance, and they said he could actually fit me in right before the PT appointment. So off I went at lunch, and the Doc, did all the usual twists and pulls at my leg, and asked all the usual questions (Does it hurt here? Here? How about here?), and came up with just what I wanted to here.. um, I mean, hear: "It seems you pulled your hip abductor (also throwing in a few other muscle-tendon related references that I didn't really understand), but it doesn't appear to be bursitis. When you get your thumb looked at by the PT, you can ask her for ways to stretch this out, but it seems minor and it shouldn't keep you from running."

I kissed him full on the mouth.

Okay, not really, but it would have not been an unreasonable payment for his diagnosis (but thank god for insurance!). I would've rather kissed the PT, who was better looking than him and more, well, female. She was also a runner, training for Nashville's Country Music Marathon, which is the same weekend as New Jersey. She scolded me for not doing my warm-up and stretches properly, but the effect was lost, as she was daintily massaging my thumb as she did it. She then showed me some other stretches to do to strengthen my hip - a few of which I'd already been doing in pilates, gave me a Theraband to use at home, and sent me on my way. Tonight, I'm happy to report that both my hip, and my thumb, are already feeling much better.

So, is there anything to be learned from this little experience? I think so:

1. Don't forget to warm-up properly beforehand, and stretch afterward. We all know it, and it's that one time when we don't do it that we risk injury.
2. If you think you're injured, see an expert quickly, so that you're not jumping to the wrong conclusions. What you think the problem is may be totally off the mark.
3. Sometimes we need brutal reminders in order to take corrective action.
   
4. Getting a hand massage by an attractive PT of the opposite gender is cool.
5. Country music sucks.

Bye-bye Buck!

I bid my physiotherapist, Buck, a fond farewell tonight, after a paltry, but productive, 5 sessions. He instructed me on stretching at home, I asked him a couple questions about running shoes and yoga, and we embraced for a long, long time.

Okay, I made that last part up. I might have been tempted, though, if I weren't so damned heterosexual. He's such the GQ-esque young fellow. Instead, I told him that I quite honestly didn't ever want to see him ever again. Him or any other PT, that is. My next injury will be too soon, no matter when it happens.

The groove, and getting back into it.

I just fired my physical therapist this morning. Granted, I only had one session left, but it's still nice to feel like I made the decision to end things of my own accord.

I saw a new doctor last week, thanks to brunettechicagogal's recommendation, and the fact that he was covered by my insurance, at Sports Medicine at Chelsea Piers (SMCP). He actually listened to me more attentively than the previous two doctors did, and allowed me more opportunity to voice my questions and concerns. I never at all felt rushed or pressed for time, which is a big contrast to the other doctors, who seemed to want me in and out as quickly as possible. More so, I expected to be rushed because I was his last appointment on a Friday, but it just wasn't the case.
Going off on a little bit of a tangent here, I have noticed that the high-paced doctor's office seems very common in America, or at least the NY-NJ area. I never felt rushed by medical practitioners in Canada. Not sure if this is just due to the typically high pace of the NYC region, or it's somehow a byproduct of the private healthcare system in the U.S. Could somebody please launch a study about this and get back to me with the results? Thanks.

Anyway, the good doctor admitted that he didn't know why I was still having problems when the inflammation seemed to have cleared out already. I told him that I had been still feeling some pain down the front of my upper leg, and that I've recently noticed that my right hip "cracks" audibly when I'm moving around. He said it sounded like my IT band was snapping (ew!) and we could explore a few things to resolve it, through continuing physical therapy with his therapist, who "lives for this kind of stuff". He still didn't think it would take more than a few sessions of PT to get me fixed up. Both of these things are just what I wanted to hear. SMCP has it's own in-house physical therapists, so of course that's where the doctor wants me to go. And with the lack of success I've been having with the other PT, this wasn't a big concession to make.

I say lack of success, not referring to the progress I've made, because I have made a lot of progress, but moreover to the poor communication and my state of confusion I've been in. With therapy up to now, I've walked in, had her do things with me with little communication between us and then I leave. Oh, if only other areas of my life could be that simple. However, in PT I want to know why I'm doing what I'm doing and what it's supposed to accomplish. She never told me any of that. When I told her that I'd been researching bursitis on my own, she said "Stop reading stuff on the internet", but wouldn't tell me what the points I was apparently mistaken on were.

I saw the new PT for the first time yesterday. A good looking, well built, young guy. He had a really confident, cool, laid back air about him, as if he'd just come back from hunting and had bagged a nice big deer. I'll call him Buck. He was definitely a pretty-boy, but a little too young and, well, male for me. Buck systematically went through all the usual questions, and did many of the same tests on me that had been done in the past.

Interesting here to note that, even for a runner, apparently I have immense tightness in my legs, particularly in my ITB and hamstrings. The doctors and PTs always comment, and in more than one case, show me to someone else, as if I were some kind of weird bug that they caught in a jar. When I went to therapy in Jersey a few years back, the PT called the intern over and said something like "Take a look at this one. This is how bad it can get in runners." Yesterday, Buck called over the other PT and asked his opinion as to whether such extreme tightness was cause for particular concern, but the other PT (who was older and I'm guessing more experienced) didn't think so. After Buck finished with checking me out and questioning me, he explained that he was going to give me a series of pre- and post-run exercises to do and estimated that it would just take two to four weeks to rid me of any leftover pain that I'd been feeling if I kept up the exercises. We then went through the movements and he explained what each one did for me, and what muscle or tendons it was working/stretching. At the end of the session, he wrote out the exercises and drew little diagrams for me to remember them with, and then explained what we were going to do next time: "We'll beat you up some." Oh goody!

If this all seems like common sense, as in: 'Well, isn't all that what you're supposed to do in phsyical therapy?', well then, you're probably right, but during my last twelve weeks, I haven't done much of it. Although my previous PT really seemed to know what she was doing, she didn't let me in on any of it. To top it off, I've been icing when apparently I should be using a heating pad, which seems just bizarre.

Buck also said I could continue running, but added that if I felt pain I should stop. So I rejoined the Flyers last night for the second week in a row, and I ended up running long, if you can call six and a half miles long, that is. I had actually only planned to run about five and a quarter, but when I broke off from my fellow teamates at 96th and Central Park W., I discovered that I once again forgot my metrocard, and being the cheapo that I am, I refused to spend the $4 on a one-trip card just to go a mile and a quarter and jogged back home to Harlem. I did all my exercises and stretches, and my hip feels good today, no stiffness. I'll need to cut back on my later runs this week to balance out the mileage (remember, only 10% increase per week!).

I felt great running last night, despite the humidity, and everyone else's cursing me out for saying how great it was to be running despite the humidity. Neither my hip nor leg bothered me before, during, or after the run. There are so very few things that I enjoy doing more than running, and it's unfortunate how much I have taken it for granted this past winter, setting PR after PR, without consideration for taking care of my body, ignoring the means for the end. Hopefully this time out I can be smarter. Every step is indeed a joy, and I need to remember that.

Clueless

The physiotherapist wants me to keep running.

I really have no idea what to do anymore.

A year. A whole freakin' year.

From a Coolrunning.com forum post, Aug. 8th/'06:

"I had stress fractures and hip bursitis and didn't listen to the doctor initially either because I really love to run. The best advice I can give is to rest as completely as possible and to listen to your doctors. I luckily didn't have to have surgery but they told me I wouldn't be able to run anymore if I didn't rest so eventually I listened. It was a very, very long recovery process, probably because I didn't rest like I was supposed to in the beginning. I was on crutches and then was only allowed to walk short distances. Physical therapy did wonders and I still do the exercises I learned today. It took about 6 months until I no longer felt pain and a full year until I could run 20 miles a week with no pain or without starting to get reinjured. When I couldn't run, I walked and swam. I just kept taking it easy if something hurt and eventually I recovered completely. I don't do much sprint work anymore but I'm just happy to be running again. I just ran my first marathon since I was injured about 2 years after the initial injury and am running regularly since. I really understand wanting to do the marathon and you need to do what is best for you, but your hip flexors will probably appreciate it if you rested and ran a different marathon after you were completely healed."

Out of the Running.

My running goals have suddenly changed dramatically. I just sent an e-mail withdrawing from our team's Reach the Beach Relay lineup in mid-September. There will be no Half-marathon for me in October. I also won't be racing in the five miler next weekend as I had hoped, and I won't even be doing my first 5-mile group run with the Flyers on Monday as I had intended. In fact, I won't be doing any running for awhile. And I've decided that "awhile" will be at least three months.

I embarked on a 5.25 miler this morning at around 11 am. I ran a half mile to Morningside Park, where I stopped, did some light stretching like a good runner should, and continued on my way south to Central Park. I ran along 8th Ave. most of the way down the perimeter of Central Park.

At about 2 miles into the run I felt a small twinge of pain in my hip. It was sudden and caught me somewhat off guard. I stumbled a bit but kept running. I mentally wrote it off as a minor anomaly in my recovery, and continued down to 72nd Street, where I turned around and headed north up the West Drive, still running at a fairly easy, but steady pace. I felt fine, at least until I got back up to 81st Street, at about three and a half miles. Then things went awry.

The jolt of pain that shot through my hip and upper leg was tremendous. My right side buckled and I nearly fell over. I immediately stopped running, stepped out of the recreation lane, and collected myself. My disbelief was followed by feelings of denial and, as I took stock of myself, acceptance. My run was over. I walked over to 8th Ave, and it occured to me that I had neither my Metrocard on me nor the money to buy one. I normally carry at least one of these with me, but since I apparently forgot them today, I simply walked the forty two blocks home.

This is big. I really don't think I've been pushing myself that hard when I run. I've been following the 10% increase rule fairly strictly, and have done my icing, stretching, and massaging religiously. But the fact that I felt this much pain is a major setback. I need to stop running completely for a good chunk of time and heal.

It's so hard to do, though. Running is such an outlet for me, mentally as well as physically. It was difficult not running for so long after Vermont, and to have my hopes of recovery dashed like this is so frustrating, and so disheartening. To top it off, a chunk of my social life is now tied to the running club, and I feel like if I'm not running that I somehow don't belong there. Yeah, not running just so much harder to do than running.

And this just caps off what has been, with a couple of exceptions, nothing but a big week of let-downs for me. Things lately have really, really sucked.

No Parole

The doctor sentenced me to another twelve sessions of physiotherapy today, and I haven't even finished the first twelve yet.

Even though she said I'm doing much better, I'm apparently getting no time off for good behaviour.

Worried

Worried that my days of long runs are long over. Yesterday I did another 3.5, and I felt fine. "Fine", of course being relative. My hip still hurts. It's been 6 weeks since the marathon in Vermont, where the pain flared up badly, 5 weeks after I first got injured. So we're at almost 3 months since I first got the injury. Had I done the Bronx Half today (sniff, sniff) I know that I probably would have permanently injured myself.
I still don't know anyone who's had this problem, so all I can go by is research from web sites, and the consensus isn't good:
From About.com: "Treatment of hip bursitis is often effective, but the condition has a problem of coming back and sometimes becoming a persistent problem." Many other sources back this up, that by pushing through this condition, the bursitis will become chronic. The question is: By not taking the time off to recuperate from the initial injury, did I do long-term damage to myself when I attempted to run 26.2 miles a month later?

I'm also trying to decide where to concentrate my other training efforts. First, I recognise that part of this problem is cause by a muscle imbalance. At least one website recommends working on weight-training to improve gluteal strength. But I also recognise that poor stretching is also to blame, and yoga or pilates would be another great means to improvement on that front. Finally, as I was expressing in an earlier post, I've kind of always wanted to learn to swim, and many people have extolled the virtues of swimming as the perfect running cross-training activity. So which do I put my efforts toward? I don't have time for all three, on top of running, that's for sure. In the meantime, do I stop running altogether for a few months so that I can recuperate fully? I'd hate to just keep running 3.5 miles a day and 20 miles a week if it's just keeping the healing process at bay.

Obviously these are questions best answered by my physiotherapist and orthopedist. The thing that irritates me is that I haven't asked and that they haven't told me already.

Independence

I ran today - about 3.5 miles without a problem and without pain. I'll be easing into this. It's been over 5 weeks since Vermont, and over two weeks since my first run in Central Park, so it's time to get started again.

Wish me luck.

Grumpy

First of all, it feels like Saturday today, and I have to constantly remind myself that it's Sunday and I have to work tomorrow.

Second, I thought that the Flyers's TGIFs were supposed to take place every other week... Apparently, though, the two weeks that we're currently in have 21 days in them. So the next TGIFF is on July 7th, and thus, what I thought would be a Boat Basin night, the 14th won't be. My plan was to fold my birthday celebration that night in with the Flyers's Happy Hour, but it seems meant not to be. Guess it'll just be me and Three-Buck-Chuck celebrating alone. Ugh!

Mostly, though, I'm up to four weeks on the non-running training schedule, and it looks like it'll be a lot longer before I am able to run again. Being on my feet all the time on West Street construction has slowed my healing progress I think. I won't be doing Chicago this year - that seems obvious, as it's less than seventeen weeks away now. And the Bronx Half is just two weeks away, so that's out, too. So much for doing the Grand Prix. If I'm up for it, maybe I can train enough to run part of NYC in November, but we'll see. I'd rather just stop running altogether for awhile so that I'm fully recuperated.

I don't believe the physiotherapy is helping much, if at all, but I still go. I have a follow-up with the orthopedist in mid-July after my 6 weeks of physio is over, and if she thinks I should continue with the PT, I'm prepared to veto that proposal.

So I've been thinking about swimming lately. It's pretty much the only exercise that one can do with hip bursitis, and I've always wanted to learn. But where? I've looked online - the YMCA has children's lessons, but I haven't found any references to learning to swim for adults, save private instruction, but I'm thinking that might be too expensive. Everything's too expensive these days, especially now that I'm expecting to move again. Someone remind me -- why did I move to Manhattan?

And yesterday while moving around some furniture in my apartment I put two gouges in my (crappily-finished) hardwood floors. So much for my damage deposit. Grrrrr!

Meanwhile, three weeks later. . .

I ran today, for the first time since the Vermont City Marathon fiasco. I ran about 4 or so miles of the Father's Day race in Central Park, just jogging most of that distance, and briskly walking the rest of the race. Somehow poetic, the weather in the park today was much like the marathon three weeks ago.

I felt fine during, but stiff and sore later. My hip was sore, but not quite in the same place as before, a little higher, and it felt more like muscle soreness than the bursitis acting up, but I'm not sure. I couldn't tell if this was just due to not running for awhile, or running after the deep massage at physio a couple of days previous.

Anyway, I finally feel like I can start to rebuild again, and maybe show my I'm-so-embarrassed-that-I'm-injured face at Flyers's events and runs, and maybe even go to the next happy hour.

Slowly but surely, I'll be back. I hope.

Physio

I went to my first physical therapy session yesterday. That phrase still throws me a bit, as I'm so used to the Canadian version. . . "physiotherapy". I would say I was "going to physio", as opposed to "going to PT."

Anyway, whatever the word, I'm not happy about it. First, I was nearly ten minutes late, and the physical therapist seemed perturbed and impatient through the duration of the session about it. Plus I was getting perturbed in return by her questions. Please don't ask me what my goals are for physical therapy if you are going to tell me what they should be anyway. Then she told me I could use her favourite pen to fill out my forms, and handed me one with the NY Jets logo on it. Ugh, we are just not going to get along.

She watched me walk, and told me that I was walking a bit funky. I told her that I was unaware of this. Later, she said I could run, but told me not to run if I'm running funky. Huh? And how would I know if I'm running funky, if I can't tell if I'm walking funky. And is "funky" the proper medical term for this? I tried to clarify this by asking if she meant feeling pain, but she said no, she meant if my pace wasn't what it normally should be. Whatever.

So after I got a foam roller massage, a thorough shaking on this weird vibrating machine, and ten minutes of pulsating electric shocks through my legs, I really felt no better, save somewhat more turned on then when I walked in the door. Today my hip was sore, which made me further believe this is a waste of time.

Thus, after visits to two different sports doctors and a visit to a physical therapist, now I'm thoroughly convinced they are all just full of crap, and that I know better than they do. I believe that as long as I listen to my body I'll rehabilitate fine. You might think that I'm wrong here, and that it was my lack of judgment that got me into this in the first place, and you'd be only sort of right. Clearly, I kept training and racing hard, despite what my body was telling me, so the key phrase in the above statement is "listen to my body," which I've always done, and managed to stay injury free, until this recent fiasco.

Don't fret though, I still plan to keep going to physio. . . er, PT, sorry. But despite what she says, I'm not ready to run yet. At least not for a few more days. Better to heal a little more than blow it early.

I'll be back. No worries about that.

Congratulations, me!

Given my recent pathetic physical condition, and the fact that I can't run for the time being, I decided to pick up my spirits and, well, head over to Jersey, of course!

My other club, Essex, had their monthly meeting last night in Montclair. I missed the meeting in April, which is the anual awards dinner, and of course, given that it was the first awards dinner that I missed in four years, I got my first Essex award: Most Improved Runner 2005.

Getting the award placated my need to run for the moment. It almost felt like I received it for just finishing a great race. And it was good to see old friends in NJ again, and hear the many congrats on the award and the great race times I had (You know, back in the day, when I used to run). They also had a good guest speaker: a young elite runner named Aiden Walsh, who shared some interesting running advice and tips. It was interesting to hear that he and Paul Tergat have been to MacDonald's together... something you'd never thing an elite would do.

As a bonus, there were quite a few injuries at our table, where we swapped war stories over beer and pizza. We covered plantar faciatis, trachonteric bursitis, and a broken leg. Normally the PF would be the cool injury in the group, but the guy with the broken leg trumped the rest of us, because he actually broke it on a long run. That's a pretty cool injury, and he should've really gotten some kind of award for it.

He just can't have mine.

This is me not running

I have things to do, things to do, what to do what to do? I don't know, maybe go to a movie, no I have too much to do at home, like what? I can get some work stuff together, I can look at that other apartment application, or come up with a t-shirt design for the corporate challenge, can I run the corporate challenge? that would give me over three weeks off, and I should take six, but six is sooo long, surely three is plenty I could just do that three and a half mile race, and there's President's Cup right around then too, and the Sunset Classic end of June, two of my favourite races. . . six weeks is too long, but Marine Corps site says up to six for full recovery, and I do want to play it safe for a full recovery, don't want chronic bursitis, hip bursitis, Trochanteric bursitis, it would hurt for the rest of my life, that wouldn't be good, six weeks off is best, but six weeks off would mean no Chicago, I can't just start training for Chicago mid-July after not running for six weeks, and I'd have to ramp up the mileage fast and I can't do that, have to ease into the mileage or I would have a relapse into injury bursitis, online info says must take it easy on the mileage and. . . look at that - Medley's chasing a fly - that's so cute! must ease into mileage, or bursitis will come back, can't do Chicago, Need a second 2nd opinion, my mind is thinking too fast this is what it was like before I ran. Need a second opinion, have to make a doctor's appointment get advice, maybe I don't need to take six weeks of, maybe just a couple more weeks, 2nd opinion, running provides me with clarity, I can make decisions better, do I move to that new apartment, do I try to get another job, stay in America, go back to Canada, But my bursitis still hurt today, six days after the race! it's already been six days and it still was hurting, not a lot, but a bit, six days later, so I should wait six weeks, but that's another five weeks it's not even been a week yet, it's only been six days. going stir crazy, can't think, went out to see a movie, changed my mind and came back home, called more friends today than I have in the last two weeks, need to keep myself busy, want to go running... can I do something else? can't go cycling, hip bursitis you know, friend suggested elliptical machine, but hip bursitis you know, and I'd need to get a gym membership, I could go swimming... I should learn to swim first though, maybe I could learn to swim take lessons then running later in summer. should ice hip again (get up, go to freezer, get ice, put ice on right hip, sit down again) , 8:49 pm, cold hip, I could call someone, mom and dad, no they'd say that's what you get for doing all that running you know, other friends, already called many of them, others probably out, it's saturday night, I'm home alone. they're out on dates and stuff, I should be out on dates and stuff, why am I not out on dates and stuff, need to find somebody, "can anybody find me somebody to love?" first song on playlist for Queens Half good race and also for Vermont bad race, why is it called "stir" crazy? I'd like to go out, bu not go out. don't want to see running club, it'll only remind me of running "are you doing the race next week?" no happy hour too many questions, maybe next time but maybe not, don't know if I'll be up for it, man this ice pack is cold, six weeks, not six weeks, can't possibly wait that long, can't take that long, and it's only been a week, should've saw this coming, did I think I was invincible, PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR started wondering what was happening to me and then breakdown, Flyer predicted it, "keep racing like that and your body will eventually break down", should have known should have listened, pronation, didn't know there was such a thing as hip pronation, can contribute to onset of bursitis, I have hip pronation, should have stretched more, should I be stretching now? what kind of stretches? need to see doctor, get advice. what else can I do tonight, could be a good night to stay up and do some extra work, or surf the web, check e-mail look at some online dating sites should do that, would be a good time in my life to try and meet somebody since I can't go running, not good at meeting women though. why am I not attracted to anybody lately? why am I attracted to everyone lately? need to meet people, get out more, like I don't go out enough, spend too much money always broke, boy do I make a crappy salary, need a new job can't afford to live here in Manhattan even Harlem, I should work on my portfolio, hate working on that thing, maybe tomorrow, and apply for new job, It would be a good time to do that seeing as I'm not running now. do Manhattan yard plan, that would be fun, had pizza for supper, could read magazines, can't read running mags that'll only make me think about running, but I really like running times, could read landscape architecture magazine but really boring, could read New York Mag has Tomorowland feature, which is mostly landscape architecture and that's too much like work and that's blah! maybe New York crossword, I like that, how 'bout a puzzle? Medley laying down, I wonder if she caught the fly. PR PR PR I loved getting those PRs, no getting a PR for a while now, really want to go running, want to keep my training up, train train, choo choo! yep, crazy, maybe surf net, check out cbc news who's playing for stanley cup, what stupid things is Bush doing now, maybe a movie tomorrow, what to do tomorrow, can't go running, six weeks, can't possibly wait six weeks, why hasn't anyone else had bursitis so they can tell me what to do, no - everyone else gets cool runner injuries like ilio tibial band syndrome and plantar fasciatis and other things I can't spell, but I have to get some old lady's hip injury. . . bursitis, limping through the last marathon miles. I have to send my pics to the other runners, just a few pics, everyone had cameras and how many photos of a pasta dinner do we really need? 9:10 PM out comes ice pack. hip should be better soon right? keep Icing, what about NSAIDs? ran out of advil, advil almost spells devil mixed up. what about stretching? ITB related, ITB snaps as it passes over my hip bone (The Greater Trochanter) cause=ing inflammation of the bursa, what the hell is a bursa anyway? I never wanted to learn about a bursa, or that it's plural was bursae, but now I know more than anyone else about bursae and their itis. can only google hip bursitis so many times, but maybe I'll find out a fast way to recover maybe I'll be running again, but I can't I have to wait six weeks that's sooo long, take my mind of of this mind racing, like feet racing? okay maybe I should just make some coffee and get to work, it's late and I'm not running anyway, ouch my hip hurts and I have things to do, things to do what to do what to do. . .?

The Vermont City Marathon: A learning experience

A great number of things went wrong for me at the 2006 Keybank Vermont City Marathon. My NYFlyer buddies and I went for dinner the night before the race, and one of the jokes that came up was that, if you're going to make mistakes and have a bad race, it might as well be one that you don't really expect to obtain a PR in anyway. So that's just what I did.

I lost any expectation to set a PR in this race due to the weather. The forecast the morning of the race was up to an 84 high, under sunny skies. This was absolutely not in my control, and even though I'd been obsessing for the last week and a half about it, I could accept this. However, I still had hopes for a PR, and even now, after the race is over, I think I could have set one, had a number of other factors not interfered.

Now let me say that indeed, the the heat was just brutal. We went to a course review session at the expo on Saturday, and I will verify that where the Race Director described that there was going to be full sun, she was dead on. However, where she said there was going to be shade, there was little. The temperature at the start of the marathon was 62, and when I finished, just before noon, it was in the upper 70s, with a "real feel" in the mid-80s. I am very sun-burned. You can even see the outline of my iPod armband on my upper arm.

As for the other factors: for starters, my hip bursitis, which I thought had completely gone about a week prior to the start, decided to return for the marathon. It didn't really kick in until the halfway point, but it gradually got worse and worse, until mile 18, when I realised I was limp-running. By about mile 21-22, the pain was extreme, and I couldn't get my right leg to extend forward without a jolt of pain shooting through my side.

Not that I could have run at mile 22 if I wanted to. Also at mile 18, (maybe because of the limp) my left calf began cramping up. And to follow, at about 22-23, my right calf decided to join in the fun and cramp up as well.

But truly the folly in this race was my own fault. In my training, I had worked so hard on speed and the pursuit of shorter distance race PRs, that I didn't spend enough time concentrating on marathon pace training. As a result, I just plain went out way too fast. I hit the wall earlier than any of my previous marathons, at mile 18, and walked for a bit. When I started to run again, that's when I cramped up.

From then on, it was a tragic attempt at limp-running and walking. At one point, I had rested long enough that I really felt energetic enough to power forward, but with the pain shooting through my hip and the feeling that my calves were about to explode, my legs just wouldn't have it. It was the weirdest thing - I'd try to run, and just be able to perform this hopping, limp-gait thing, that made me visualise Terry Fox, attempting to run across the continent on one leg, back in 1980. When I'd almost break into a good stride, my calves would cramp and I'd almost fall over.

I won't put all my splits here, because really, it's just too embarrassing. I will say that I averaged sub-7s over at least the first 4 miles, my Half Marathon time was a near PR of about 1:34, and my last few miles were near a 12-minute pace. After reading this, please don't give me advice about going out too fast and pacing myself, as I believe that is pretty self-evident.

I finished in 3:44:43. My priority after crossing the finish line, was to get some ice for my hip. The entrance to the medical ten was barely 5 ft. ahead of the finish mat. I veered into the entrance, and when I stopped, my legs cramped, buckled, and I fell, just to be caught by a big burly medic. My left calf was exploding in pain. I couldn't stretch it out, and the medical guys helped me into a wheelchair and found me a bed to sit on in the tent. A few minutes later, I left with some acetaminophen, and an ice pack tucked into the side of my shorts. I had to go back to the finish area to collect a medal, though, which I had forgotten about.

This wasn't the worst finish time of the three marathons that I've done, but it certainly was the most excruciating race of the three. Fortunately, there was free beer and ice cream at the finish - two of my favourite things to get for free - so I was happy with that. And it was good to have the company and support of my fellow club members, who arrived shortly after me. The two other Flyers had pretty good finish times, and seemed satisfied... or at least, more satisfied than I was, anyway.

In the immediate future, I plan to not run for a couple of weeks so that I can fully rid myself of the bursitis problem (lest it become chronic). I still hope for a Boston Qualifier at Chicago, but this race has definitely taught me the value of learning to pace myself over greater distances.

Hopefully, it will be cool and cloudy at Chicago, but judging from my first three marathons, I just don't seem to have that kind of luck. Fingers crossed.

giving up on goals

Well, the bursitis is gone, but Mother Nature has now taken the throne as queen of my running problems. As of this morning, the forecast for Burlington on Sunday is 80 degrees and sunny. In other words, hell on earth.

When I initially decided to run a spring marathon, I had thought of it as something to do just for fun, to keep my training up between NYC and running Chicago in the fall. The strategy worked well - it kept my running up during the otherwise unmotivational winter months, and increased my level of performance. Indeed, I've had personal bests in every race distance I've attempted since the end of January, even surprising myself with my own success rate, from a 20:11 5K, to a 1:31:33 half marathon.

Somewhere along the way I got caught up in goal-setting. By the time April rolled around, I realised that not only could I be able to PR in this marathon, but a sub-3:20 was not unrealistic. After my success at the Queens Half, I was urged by myself and my running mates to shoot for the Boston Qualifier at Vermont instead of Chicago. I sat down with a dozen different online calculators and crunched the numbers. Nearly all of them gave me a range of 3:10 to 3:15, and I need a sub-3:15 to qualify for Boston. It looked like I was well on my way.

When you convince yourself that a goal is within reach, and get your heart set on obtaining that goal, it's difficult to go back. After my recent daily obsessing over the forecast, I've finally accepted the fact that it's just not going to get any better. I'm now trying to approach this marathon as a "fun run" again, although I'm not sure how much fun one can have running 26 miles in the sweltering heat. I jogged 3 miles at 8:00 this morning. It was 64 degrees and sunny, and after the first mile, I was already hot. Can I PR in weather like this? Maybe. My NYC'05 marathon PR is 3:32, and the course is supposed to be easier, less hilly. It appears that the weather will be similar, but unlike NYC training, which took place over the summer, I'm not used to hot weather running, so there might be more walking involved with this marathon. I have to prepare myself for the possible reality that I might not even break 3:32.

Yes, I'm disappointed, frustrated, and trying to figure out some kind of a "Plan B". All the work I've done training, all is for naught, or so it seems anyway. If I didn't have a plane ticket and a hotel booked, I'd probably drop out.

I'm trying to find a bright side to this - the scenery will be nice, there will be a lot of crowd support in the nice weather, and regardless of my performance, it's still good training experience for Chicago. Besides, there's reported to be free Ben & Jerry's at the end of the race, and hell, I'd run 26.2 miles for ice cream any day.

Feeling Better

Well, my bursitis is better. Not gone, but much better. I stopped taking ibuprofen yesterday, and last night I ran a hard 4+ miles, and I felt great. Today it hurts a teeny bit, though, so I'll probably pop a couple more pills, and do some more icing and stretching, just to finish the damn thing off. I hope that by Monday or Tuesday I'll be totally back to normal, running-wise.

The extended forcast for Burlington, VT, has next Sunday at 75 degrees, with scattered showers. Hot and wet doesn't make for good marathoning weather, or at least, much less likely for a Boston qualifying time, which would be my ideal goal. Keeping an eye on weather.com to see what happens.